To my darling son on your 8th birthday, this is the eigth year that I have posted this list, with the list itself growing each year the same as you have, hopefully one day when you are older you may read this, I may or may not still be around but at least I will be able to leave you with some valuable lessons and a few laughs one way or another, here are a few things to think on as your grow year on year. 

1. make mistakes, I haven't been perfect in my life, far from it, I have made many mistakes, some big some small, some that I have gotten away with lightly and others that have irreversibly affected my life, you will make mistakes, take ownership of the ones you make and remember making a mistake doesn't make you a bad person. 

2. All women are crazy 

3. Your friends are the people that show up for you when you are at your lowest, they are there for you when no one else wants to be around you and you should treasure them and be prepared to do the same for them. 

4. Always assume that you can get any woman or job that you want, the most beautiful girls are usually not hit on as much as the average girls and just like jobs there's less competition for the top spots because everyone assumes it's too tough, so shoot for the stars kid. 

5. dress appropriately for your body, spandex is not for everyone. 

6. confidence is king, but avoid being egotistical. 

7. ALL WOMEN ARE CRAZY

8. When you have a decision to make ALWAYS go with the decision that leaves you with the best story.       

9. Your lowest acceptable standard has to be 10% higher than most others highest standard.                        

10. Never get so cool that you can no longer laugh at yourself.                     

11. Nothing drives innovation like necessity, sometimes you have to paint yourself into a corner so you can come out fighting.  

12. Always leave the house as if you are about to meet the love of your life, personal hygiene, appearance and first impressions are incredibly important and you should always behave as if you are being judged. 

13. Falling in love is one of the scariest thing you will ever do, this is important because if you aren’t scared you won’t value the person you have enough, never compromise and waste time (yours and the other parties) on someone who doesn’t quite fit the bill, see point 4. 

14. “Full send” at all times, Moderation is for pussies, put 100% effort into everything you do, study, career, love life, having fun! No one ever tells stories about half assing it, well not stories that anyone wants to hear, if in doubt remember “full f**king send”. 

15. When opening car doors watch out for busses, those bastards are big and sneak up on you, they also tend to bend car doors open the wrong way...... this could be expensive at best, and fatal at worst.

16.Comedy underwear is rarely funny..... and never sexy, bear this in mind if your intention is to not remain single forever. 

17.  Losing someone close to you is the most painful event you will likely  experience. There is  no advice for this point other than to say face up to it the same way I’ve told you to face up to everything else in life. 

18. tomorrow is not a given, everyone thinks they have enough time, sometimes the clock runs out early so don’t put things off. 

19.  Your brain runs the show not your body. chasing pleasure is for weak minded people, make decisions based on logic not hormones. 

20.  Be broke until you aren’t! Ignore what all the “fake it till you make it” wankers say, save and invest your money. Flashy watches and cars only mean something when you have more money in the bank than the item cost you. 

21.  The mirror is your best friend, remember this if you can’t look yourself in the eye and be introspective then you’re probably not living by the highest values of honesty and integrity. 

22.  Have a ideal vision of yourself, if someone says something about you that does not match that ideal then get to work proving them wrong. accept no limitations being placed upon you by others.